Attempted Runner.

Race Recap: Brazen Racing – Wildcat 5k
05.11.14, 09:15
Filed under: Brazen Racing, Fitness, Race Recap, running | Tags: , , , ,

I wanted to start this off sounding all intellectual and shit (because using shit makes everything more profound…or thug) but after staring at the blank screen for an hour last night and even since I woke up this morning….I got nothing.

The only thing I keep thinking…and giggling about, is that the Wildcat 5k trail run with Brazen Racing that I did yesterday, has an elevation gain/loss that resembles boobies.

Maybe more of the African Tribal women boobies or the 1950s pointy bra boobies, but none the less…I see boobies.

With that out of the way, I started the day out early. We decided that with limited parking and a $5 fee, J would meet me at my house and we would travel together, rather than meeting each other there. Wildcat Canyon is in the middle of both of us, so J ended up having to go a little out of her way, but it paid off near lunch time.
A, his mom and stepdad were all doing a Mother’s Day run with Wolfpack Events and the ‘ol M.I.L wanted me to do it with them but since I am trying to be a Brazen Streaker, I told her I couldnt….BUT I was only about 5 miles away from her event so it was like we were running together. Anyway, since A was running as well, I had to get up a little earlier to hog all the hot water. I know my priorities. It ended up working out though because I told J to get me at 7:15, so when she showed up at 6:45, I at least had my clothes on.

We left shortly after I made breakfast and made it to the park at 7:45 with the best parking spot. Our car was about 200 yards from the starting line! We’ve never been that close and it was awesome! Due to being so close to the starting line and not having to walk (as usual) we had plenty of time, but it seemed to go by quickly.

Rather than just hanging out in the car, we watched the Half Marathon runners start….and the guy in the white shorts, :::::wink wink:::: J. Then headed over to find Mr. And Mrs. Brazen to question them about the ever important….early hiker start for Dipsea.

Mrs. Brazen confrimed that there will be an early hiker start at least 1-1.5 hours ahead of time. They are still working out the legistics of the hiker start but I’m just ecstatic about this news. That means I will make the turn around with more than 15 minutes to spare!! It has eased my nerves a little bit but its still Dipsea, which meams theres anxiety regardless.

Anyway, it was getting closer to our start, so we took the long 1 minute walk to the car, grabbed our bibs and belts then went back over to do some stretches. My left hip was a little tight but other then that, everything was doing wonderful.

We lined up in the corrals and I never have any idea where to actually stand in the corral. I try to hit the middle of the corral but I always seem to be too far back. I don’t want to move closer up and slow other people down, but I always get stuck farther back and I’m the one who gets slowed down. It never fails and yesterday was no exception.

Mr. Brazen said that the first 300 feet were probably the most dangerous steps you’ve ever taken compared to any road race. There were pot holes, a narrowed path, a sharp left, a downhill, a log and a sharp right before the 1.25 miles of uphill began. Once Mrs. Brazen hit the horn, I took off but got stuck behind the group and was at a stand still. I saw the group I wanted to be with moving effortlessly down, over (the log) and continued on. I think it took me like 5 minutes just to make the right turn. Once I did make it to that point, I began running up the hill. I made it to about .33 miles up before I had to walk the rest of the way up. And up. And up. It just kept going! I wasn’t the only one though. Everyone else was walking too.

I finally made it to the top, was out of breath and my calf/quads were burning but once I hit the flat section, I was able to run. I felt like I didn’t even go up that hill. As I saw the Golden Gate bridge and rounded the corner, I started the decent. I ran awkwardly down this part and my left knee/quad muscle starting tingling but it didn’t stop me. It wasn’t anything to be concerned about.


Photo. Courtesy of

While continuing the decent, I was thinking, “Huh…it took me 18 minutes to go up the first mile but it didn’t seem all that hard.” The downgrade became steeper but it didnt click. I kept trotting along until I hit the turn around. I got the little Dixie cup of the sports drink and started running up the hill. That’s when it clicked that it was steeper. My run didn’t last long as I was forced to walk.

The only thing that was running was the profanity in my head.

There were a few times that I wanted to stop for a quick rest because my legs were on fire but I never did. I thought that if I stopped, I wouldn’t have been able to start again. I finally made it to the flat top part, gathered my barrings and slowly started to run again. Somwhere around this area I hit mile two with a negative split (16mins). I approached the last sharp turn before descending to the finish. There was a camera man there and I tried to look fantastic! But most likely, I was red faced and my shorts were being eating by my crotch. Hahaha.

While running down, there wasn’t anyone around me. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or bad thing. I took it as everyone was finished except me. Since no one was around, I did my first ever on course snot rocket. It was epic. I couldn’t resist though. The wind was crazy out and it was making my nose drip like a faucet. Don’t worry, I made it in the bushes so no one would slip in snot.

Hahahaha, the image I got in my head of someone slipping on snot. Classic.

I hit the third mile marker with another negetive split (14mins), made the last (now) left turn, jumped the log, up the douche incline (that’s what it was called, right Brandi?) and down the finish line chute.

Mr. Brazen said, “And here comes Attempted Runner finishing up her 5k. Great job, Attempted Runner here’s a little Wildcat call for you.” Then I hear an audio clip of a wild cat doing its viscous meow roar thing. I lost it and was cracking up as I crossed the finish line.

I set no PR’s or anywhere close to it with finishing in 51:09, but I wasn’t trying to hit that. I finished 7/10 in my age group and under the first 50% overall. I never finish under 50%!! I’m usually around 53%-60% of finishers. However, this was the first time that I did a run in months were from start to finish, I have had no hip or knee pain what’s so ever!!! It may have had to do with the fact that I walked half of it, but still!!! I think these squats, lunges, clams, wallsits, Make Fat Cry Challenge, bicycle and everything else I’m doing is really paying off. I may not have that bubble butt that people get from squats, but things are getting stronger. It comes in waves doesnt it? I get strong, get stronger then eventually get squat butt? I’m aiming for squat butt.

J was still on the course, so I found a spot to sit and waited for her. I laughed every time Mr. Brazen did the Wildcat call when people finished and drank my Pineapple Coconut water. I don’t remember the brand but it was really good and I don’t even like coconut water. It was refreshing.

About 5 minutes after finishing I got an email from Brazen with my results. They’ve (Brazen) really have improved their timing as they now have live results. I think I’ve said it before, but Brazen has something new and improved at each race and it impresses me every time. Way to go Brazen, keep it up because that’s why you’re the greatest!!

Soon enough, J finished her, as she called it, walk-a-thon with a new buddy. We did the typical post race photo, grabbed a new chips and I called A before we headed out.

A finished first in his age group……(he failed to tell me that he was the only one in his age group) with a time of 29 something. I think he did well considering he doesn’t run, ever. The only exercise he does is whatever physicial activity he get at work and the once a week (if that) bicycle ride he goes with me on. That irritaes me. He doesn’t do any sort of physicial activity and runs a hilly 29 minute 5k. Really? I excercise 5-6 days a week and on a good day, finish a flat 5k in 39 minutes. Frustraining. What’s even more frustrating is his mom power walked and finished in 49 minutes. She’s an x-smoker (for a month)…I must really suck at this running thing. :0\

Anyway, enough of the woe is me. I”ll have them go do the course I did and maybe I’ll feel better about it.

The best part of the day was after when we went to try out a newer sandwich shop that caters to gluten free folks. It was absolutely delicious and I’ll probably talk about it for the next month. I’ll also probably end up going there again within the next week too.

The rest of the day consisted of me taking a deep 30 minute nap. I only know it was a deep sleep nap because I woke up in a puddle of drool. I’m not ashamed. It also consisted of me being completely lazy (after mowing the way over grown lawn) with nothing better to do with my time.

All in all, I’d say it was a pretty good day.



3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Invo coconut water :).

Comment by Runningfromitall

Your elevation comparison made me laugh! Congrats on your race!

Comment by Falyn @ Slacker Runner

I approve of that sandwhich

Comment by Brandi

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