Attempted Runner.


I am a runner.
09.13.12, 19:00
Filed under: Random Ramblings

Am I a runner? Yes. Am I a good runner? No.  I don’t even know if I would say I am a good jogger. I don’t do it for very long. Maybe I’m just a walker who takes random jogging breaks?

I attempted to start running in Jan. of 2011. You would think that since it has been almost two full years now, I would be a pro at it? Wrong. I still can’t even run a full mile. I am a guilty as charged. I half assed my training or lack there of, for the longest time.  My sister started running for a new-found freedom after she divorced her two timing sack of shit husband (the last half of that sentence is more than likely irrelevant to my story, but I just wanted to world to know how much of a douche bag he is and will always be). She wanted to sign up for her first 5K, but didn’t want to do it alone. Knowing that they didn’t have a time limit to complete the 5k, I told her I would sign up too. Three miles? How bad can that be. I can walk that. I told her I would train a bit. I didn’t. February came around and the run was upon us….the exciting DAY OF THE RACE!! Forty nine minutes and 29 seconds later, I wanted to die and while I was at it, I wanted to murder Golden Gate Park with its stupid hills!

I blamed it on hills (except they were mostly downhill). I blamed it on my asthma, that I just developed (That day!). In my head, I blamed it on my weight (at the time, I was around 212) and my complete lack of athleticism. I was NOT a runner.

I hated trained, but I did love race days. Excluding the sweat, the red face (it gets bad, trust me), the slow pace and basically coming in with the last 2%. I was motivated for a change. I was ready to train.

I didn’t.

Five months went by at we signed up for a 5k at Lake Chabot…..with rolling, yep, you guessed it….HILLS! I maybe “trained” 2 full weeks worth in the 5 months period and it showed. I knocked a whole 1 minute and 26 seconds off. They kept telling me it was great, because it was a trail run. Its harder they said. It has hills, they said. It was extended to 3.3 miles. I guess it did make it “better” but I could have done more.  I probably trained again….maybe another two weeks total in a three-month timeframe, because next thing I knew, August was here and another 5k. This time, it was a flat course! I thought…oh, I can nail it! Flat is perfect! I can run longer than 2 minutes..it’ll be great! I’ll have a PR of sub 30 minutes…I was gloating and super happy that morning.  The half marathoners took off, the 10k’ers took off and finally it was the 5k’ers time..it was my time.

It wasn’t my time. I finished in 43:39. The bright side of all these? Each race I set a new PR, so I just focused on that and didn’t focus on the fact that I never trained like I should have. I didn’t push myself any harder than I should have. Two months later, I still didn’t. We signed up for a night run in October. I thought, AWESOME! It’ll be at night so it won’t be hot. I hate heat. It makes me so tired! I can’t exercise in the heat!! Who can? Obviously, everyone who has crossed the finish line before me in all my previous races can exercise in the heat.

Again, my own cockiness kicks in. “I got this!” Its at night, it’ll be cool…its flat! Perfect.    Not perfect. Because it was at night and it was cooler, the air was crisper and I think I had my first start of an asthma attack. I never believed those who had asthma and said that its aggravated by cool air. What do those asthma suffers know? I learned it that night. I still set a PR though! 43:16. I’m getting “faster!”

Thanksgiving. What better way to stuff your face and not feel bad about it on Thanksgiving then running a 5k? Or walking it….to burn what? a 1/4 piece of ham and maybe a small dinner roll? The entire course was uphill. Both ways (ok just 1.5 miles), in the snow (mist) and I ran barefoot (wearing trail shoes). Because my inability to take my adventures in a sport seriously, this was the running gods telling me to shove it. The gun goes off, I jogged .1 miles, made the first turn and all of a sudden a deathly pain in my shins. Then a mountain! or exaggerated hill was at the 1-ish mile marker. And it just went up and up and up. It was muddy and up! My shins were screaming bloody murder and I wanted to cry and stop going. Pride wouldn’t let me so I just walked it. I finished in 48:37. My second worst in time and my first worst of all races. I realized with the lack of training and your naive attitude, that you cannot just except to run, jog or shoot..even walk at a decent finish line time without preparing ahead of time for it. Unless your my boyfriend, who did his first race in Feb of 2012. Never ran a mile in his life, did about 30 minutes on the treadmill in the week prior to the race and finished at 31:52. Men are typically better and faster in running than girls. Jerk.

The following Saturday (just two days after Nitro Turkey [of hell.]) there was another run in Golden Gate park, but on the upper FLAT side. My shin splints and all said this was it! I told my running buddies that I would meet them at the finish an hour later cause I’m going to walk the thing because I suck at running.

I SET A NEW PR!!! 41:59. My fastest…with shin splints!! I ran my heart out. I ran through the pain! I was almost to being sub40. I crossed the finish lined and limped my way back to the car. I asked Dr. Awesome what I could do for the Shin splints and he just said rest it out and less impacting activities so I can keep with my “training” that he “thought” I was doing “regularly.”  I had a free month pass! Maybe running wasn’t my sport after all.  I took the first of December off. I took the end of December off too. I started trainig….Really this time! Once a week! Sometimes two if the treadmill was lucky!

One year later….I kept setting PRs and I thought I can take on my arch nemesis of Golden Gate Park and kick its butt.  I still hate GG park til this day, but I will face it head to head again in 2013 and most likely, each year after that.  One year later..People called me a “runner,” I corrected them and said more like a jogger? More like a shuffler??? They just laughed it off and said I was doing well, but deep down…I knew I sucked and I half assed it and it showed. I completed the 2012 run at 43:49. Which now, seems to be my average. I pushed so hard on that….I got another asthma attack and was silently kicking myself.

Two weeks later, I went back to the Marina and it holds my fastest PR time of 40:46 to this date.  I’m still slow…….I’m ashamed sometimes that I am not in the 30s….that I am still in around the lowest on the results list.  I increased my training to three days a week, but still allowed “life” to get in the way. I need to go on the treadmill today…Oh, you want to go to the store instead? Wait, for me! I’ll go….Sorry treadmill, tomorrow…..Tomorrow, was a lie too. Three days a week, off and on for months. A St. Patrick’s day run, 41:53. A run on Cinco De Mayo, on the hottest day I’ve ever run in my life, was 45:18 (for my second all dirt track, I set a PR. Counts for something right? In the blistering heat. You should have seen my ezcema…I have the best excuses).

I never masted the 5k. I never reached my goal of being at or faster than 39:59. So….what did I do next? Sign up for a 10k. What else? Sign up for a HALF, FREAKING, MARATHON in January of 2013. Idiot me. My shin splints were long gone…I lost weight (40lbs..15 to go to my personal goal!!! Only thing I actually didn’t half ass on, I guess), so I was “lighter,” so maybe I’ll be “faster.” My asthma didn’t seem to bother me, although I still take puffs from my inhaler before the start, just in case. I figured, worst comes to worse, I’ll just walk it. As long as I finished under 1:30:00 I would have been happy, because double my 10K time, I get a “rough” estimate of my Half time which I need to be at 3:30:00 or less (Disneyland has very strict time limits, I hear). I finished fourth from last for females with 1:29:48. I finally reached a personal running goal. WITH 12 seconds to spare! A year and a half later, sabotaging myself, disappointing myself and letting myself down. I signed up for the Half Marathon because I KNEW that would make me work harder. I just have to get that Disneyland, 2013 Tinkerbell medal..I just have to!

And so it begins. I’m starting my training. Jeff Galloway will be there with me the entire time. I may not finish the my next 5k in less than 40 minutes. I may not finish my next 10k within 1 hour. But as long as I finish that Half marathon in 3:29:59, I will be on top of the world! Galloway says 30 minutes Tuesdays and Thursdays. Long runs on weekends. Add some core work in on the other days. Its been two weeks since my training program started and I’ve got the T/Th and long weekend runs down. I’ll eventually add in the core/strength. Maybe I’ll start that next week….Maybe is that key word cause after this…we all know I’m a Convicted Slacker. With that..it is Thursday at 8:30pm. I’m not gonna give myself the “I’ll just do it tomorrow” line, because I know I won’t. It’s Thursday and I have to stick to my schedule.

Off to run, I go.

Unofficially, I’ve done the first annual 2012 Neverland Fun run in Disneyland. I was around 45 minutes on my Nike+ and we were goofing off. I’ve done the 2012 Color run in San Francisco. I didn’t wear my Ipod and I ran through blue a bunch of times…so I have no clue. The most recent run, was the first annual Cars Land Rally in Disneyland. They don’t time for the 5k’s but my Nike+ was at 40:33 and we goofed off and took pictures. I hit my fastest and if there were no goofing off, I would have finally hit my in the 30s goal, but of course…it wasn’t officially timed, so it doesn’t count. I sure did have one hell of a time on all three of those though!

I am a runner.  

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